think conflict fundamentally works best H u m a n i t i e s
Hello this is another discussion where you have to write 500 words for your own discussion and a reply of 300 words to another student. I will share my result with you in pictures and also you can take the survey to see the questions. I will provide two other student samples and as always you have to respond to one of them with 300 words or more. For the situation use a work situation with a coworker as a job coach at work and how you approached it. (Job coach for people with developmental disabilities). You can use Liebmans book if you want to.
My result were 79 Accommodator, 64 Compromiser, 64 Problem Solver, 42 Avoider, 0 Competer I added pictures of the descriptions and you can also view their site
Lead post [10 points]:
Identify your conflict style by taking the Conflict Style Survey (Links to an external site.). Share how you see your conflict style playing out in your professional and personal life. Share how your main conflict style interacts with one of the other conflict styles by giving a specific example of an interaction you have had with another person. What was the outcome based on your different conflict styles? What self-care techniques do you use to build your resilience in challenging situations and conflicts? (min. 500 words)
Response Post [5 points]:
In approximately 300 words respond to another person in your group about their story. What aspects of their story do you connect with? Are their further resources you can provide regarding the topic of self-care?
For my conflict style, I got 82% Problem Solver. I resonate with this result as I tend to believe that while some conflict is small enough to be simply let go, other conflict that goes ignored or unaddressed can often fester and create bigger problems down the line. That is why typically – even though it may be uncomfortable – I would rather talk about the problem and work through it to hopefully get to a place where everyone feels like we are on the same page and in a good place to move forward. In order for this to work, I do try to build high-levels of trust and mutual understanding. I think conflict fundamentally works best when people know that we are for them and not against them. I believe that we are working together to address the problem – instead of a person being the problem. Thus building trust and mutual understanding is very important to me in the conflict process.
One example of how my main conflict style interacts with another conflict style is how I tend to interact with my partner. My partner’s conflict style tends to be more of an “accommodator”. While it obviously can be nice to have someone accommodate, I would actually frustrate him when we were dating (and sometimes still do) because we would have a conflict and his first move would be to accomodate, or just go with whatever I wanted. Again while this was of course wonderful at times, I think he was surprised when I would press him for what he actually wanted and how much it mattered to him. Because for me, I didn’t want someone who would just defer to my every whim and fancy – if we were going to be in a real relationship, then I needed to know his needs and wants and we needed to navigate those honestly. Like the assessment said, this was frustrating at times because I “want[ed] to get to the root of the problem” and he would think “why are you making this so hard, I am literally just trying to accommodate you to make it easier and you are making it harder”. I also think that the assessment also highlighted a great point, “There is also the potential for burnout from over-processing”. I have had to learn that sometimes my interest in exploring every facet and nuance can be simply overwhelming and exacerbating for my partner, and it is more effective to leave some stones underturned and actually just move forward.
One self care technique that I use to build resilience in challenging situations and conflicts is actually investing in the relationship. If I have been having a lot of conflict with someone recently, it is really helpful for me to spend fun, usually light-hearted quality time with that person to remind me (sometimes both of us) that our relationship is more than just conflict and also that our relationship is worth fighting for. Another self care technique that I use is journaling. I often journal when I am in conflict as a way to work through the following questions, “What parts of this do I need to own? Where is my ego, pride and/or insecurities getting in the way? What am I responsible for and what am I not responsible for?” Taking the time to get clarity surrounding these questions allows me to work through conflict from much more of a clear-headed and centered place and helps me to be more of the person I want to be when working through conflict.
The results of my Conflict Assessment Survey are as follows:
Problem Solver 45%
While I do agree that the survey results accurately reflect my general conflict style, I must also say that I believe it shifts and is influenced by the circumstance or role I am in as well as the topic at hand.
Most of the time, I do assume the Avoider role. I think this is in part because conflict makes me uncomfortable, but other times it is because I am aware of my lack of expertise. During meetings at work, I find it more valuable to listen to others discuss problems and solutions to topics I am not an expert on. However, If the topic is something I am familiar with, and if I have a practical solution to the problem, then I find it my responsibility to bring it up. I think my avoider style also stems from my tendency to avoid admitting when I am bothered. Addressing conflict would have to begin with admitting that it is there, and that is something I have trouble doing.
Unlike at work, at home and in my personal life I assume the Accommodator role most frequently. I think this is because I am most comfortable opening up to friends and family, so I am more likely to be honest about my feelings and more inclined to share my thoughts. I am rarely at the center of heated conversations, but somehow I always end up trying to diffuse tension or steer the conversation to a new topic. My go-to plan of action is usually to convince family members/friends to agree to disagree. Going through this program though, I have discovered that agreeing to disagree and avoiding unpleasant conversations is not always the best option. I find myself being more and more unable to shrug off things people say as coming from a place of ignorance and therefore not worthy of my time. I have a growing sense of responsibility to contest dominant discourses that support systems of oppression. These feelings and realizations are somewhat in contradiction to my conflict style because I am not an outspoken or blunt person. Finding a way to shift my conflict style closer to problem solver is something I aim to work on.
I found it interesting that while all conflict styles had a factor of weakness listed, Compromiser did not. I disagree on this one. In my opinion, compromising is not invariably a win-win situation. For example, just yesterday, my mom and I sorted through our Christmas decorations and were trying to decide how we would display them on the lawn. She wanted it one way and I wanted it another. Eventually, we compromised on a layout. But it was neither what she envisioned nor what I envisioned for the lawn. In this case, we both ended up feeling short-changed. In writing this, I realize I should probably just let her arrange the decorations her way and while that wouldn’t be a compromise or us meeting in the middle , it’s a better choice because I know it will make her happy.